Shame, Shame, Go Away…
What are you ashamed of?
Shame- noun. A painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior.
Once upon a time, there was a little girl. From the moment she was born, she felt deeply; internalizing everything she experienced and witnessed. As she grew older, she became her own author of what was good and bad. Just like Eve, she allowed serpents to whisper in her ear and chip away at her God-given identity. Feeling a deep sense of shame, she tried to hide. She tried to hide her mistakes, her feelings, her experiences. She felt safe hidden. She ran from God, afraid that He would judge her—afraid that she wouldn’t know how to face Him.
The little girl grew up but her shame kept her in bondage. She thought she found power in being private—secretive. She thought she was powerful because she chose to stay away from people. She thought she was controlling her narrative—- while all along shame was. Running from her feelings; she found herself engaging in behavior that inadvertently increased her sense of shame. Sleeping with a man that wasn’t worthy of her soul. Allowing this man to walk in and out of her life whenever he felt fit. Intertwining her self- worth and identity with his desires and validation. Shame was with her as she walked in the abortion clinic, too ashamed to face her family—too ashamed to face herself. Shame was with her as she got back with the same man who left her in the clinic alone. Shame. Shame. Shame.
There was a woman, a woman at a well. This woman lived centuries before the little girl but she lived for the little girl. This woman also lived with shame. This woman also allowed shame to take hold of her life and her identity. She was so ashamed of her actions that she avoided people as an attempt to avoid herself. One day, she traveled to the well as she normally did to get water. Water is a substance that is necessary for all humans to survive. Up to 60% of our bodies are water. Although the woman was ashamed, she knew she needed water. Unlike her previous trips to the well, she was met there by a Jewish man that asked her to give Him a drink. Shocked that someone was there when she tried so hard to avoid people, she asked “ How is it that You, being a Jew, ask a drink of me, a Samaritan woman?” ( John 4: 9) The Jewish man responded “ If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who says to you, ‘Give Me a drink’, you would have asked Him and He would have given you living water” ( John 4:10). The man’s response made no sense because He had nothing to draw water— she was so used to looking at things externally that she completely missed the man’s point. The woman avoided looking within because looking within would force her to deal with herself—it would force her to deal with the things that caused her shame.
The man understood that the woman was ashamed. He also understood that she was living in darkness. He brought to light the things that she tried to keep hidden. He asked her about her husband. When she truthfully answered that she didn’t have one, He agreed with her, exposing the fact that she had 5 and is currently sleeping with one that is also not her husband. He didn’t judge her, but he exposed the truth because He understood that to be healed, the source of her shame had to be exposed. The woman’s spirit connected with the man. The truth that this man spoke quenched the thirst that the woman was so desperately trying to quell. She dropped her jug and ran to the town to share her testimony to the same people she tried to avoid. She was no longer thirsty because the water that the man gave her became “ a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life” ( John 4:14).
Jesus was able to use the truth of the woman’s past experiences to call her closer to Him, which gave her the boldness and confidence to share her testimony with others. The woman encountered Jesus’ essence— she would never be the same. At that moment she dropped her shame and picked up her power in Him. This was her purpose all along.
Fast forward to 2020, and here I am. The woman at the well met Jesus there for me. Jesus knew that I would be living in shame, trying to hide from the people that I need to bring to him. He revealed my truth to me and showed me that I am enough. That he still loves me and that my life is worthy. He loves me! I have no choice but to love myself. I have no choice but to live in his light and testify to who He is and the ways He helped me release my shame. I thank God for saving this little girl.
