What About Your Friends?
You: Hey, Girl! I have some great news! You know I’ve been praying that I find a job that I’m passionate about, pays well and will help people. God has finally revealed what he wants me to do. He opened all the doors, I interviewed and I got the JOB!! There’s a catch--- it’s overseas---in London. I’m going to have to dedicate long hours and sacrifice my social life for a while
April: Congrats! But---Oh no! London? Are you sure? Are there any similar positions here that you can apply to instead? What about all of our gatherings and brunches? Sacrificing your social life would be a lot. Remember that the work/ life balance is very important! I’ll help you look for jobs!
What would be your response to April?
If you’re anything like me, your next response would probably be to internalize the questions April asked and cut the conversation short. The excitement that I once felt would be replaced with doubt, confusion and fear. Other people would probably recognize April as a hater, vent to another friend that they subconsciously know would affirm their negative perception of her and eventually cut her off.
In today’s culture, where everyone is being cancelled for the slightest mistake, I feel fortunate to have most of my friendship group intact. As I reflect on past mistakes and changing friendships, I am reminded of Jesus and Peter’s relationship. By all accounts, I would consider Peter a loyal friend; a friend that would go above and beyond for people that he really loves. I imagine Peter to be the ride or die friend--- the friend that’s willing to cut someone for you ( literally! Lol). I also imagine that Peter was the type of person that required a lot out of their friendships. He needed to feel wanted, loved, and validated.
How many of us are also guilty of using our friendships/ relationships as crutches?
There’s one particular exchange between Peter and Jesus that spoke to me. Peter had just professed Jesus to be ” The Christ, the Son of the living God”( Matthew 16:16). Jesus, recognizing that Peter received this revelation through his spirit, proclaimed him as the rock that he will build His church on (Matthew 16:18). After this exchange, Jesus goes on to tell the disciples that He will have to suffer, face rejection and be killed. Peter, thinking he was being a good friend and disciple, pulled Jesus aside to rebuke Him stating that these things will not happen to Him. Jesus, instead of accepting Peter’s rebuke, states “ Get behind Me, Satan! For you are not mindful of the things of God, but the things of men” ( Mark 8: 33). Wow! Peter must have been so confused at this point. Here he was, thinking he was being a good friend, speaking life into his friend and teacher, but gets rebuked in front of all of his fellow disciples. This exchange shows that sometimes friends can love each other so much that they inadvertently stifle God’s will over their lives. There’s nothing wrong with encouraging and being a positive voice in your friend’s ear, but when your encouragement is in disagreement with God’s will, it can actually do more harm than good. When Jesus rebuked Peter, he didn’t address Peter directly, but addressed him as Satan because at that moment he was speaking against God’s will. Jesus recognized that his friend had made a mistake, but did he cut him off? Did he take back the blessing that he just gave him? No. Instead, he explained what it meant to follow him. He used the exchange as a teachable moment.
Peter and Jesus’ friendship taught me that friendships are not always easy. Friendships like any other relationship requires communication, patience, understanding and kindness. Peter’s temperament was completely opposite of Jesus’ temperament. Peter was impulsive, vengeful, doubtful, dishonest, and had a terrible temper. Jesus, on the other hand, is patient, kind, exhibits self- control, truthful, faithful and trust God’s will. Through their friendship, Peter learned a lot about what was wrong with his temperament and what it truly means to live and love abundantly. Jesus knew that Peter was in his life for a reason and was patient with Peter as he matured.
How many friendships would be salvaged if we looked at the innate flaws of our loved ones through a spiritual lens?
Many people would believe that the ultimate betrayal after Judas, would be when Peter denied Jesus 3 times. At the point of Peter’s denial, he had already proven to be a zealous follower of Jesus, who undoubtedly loved him. Peter was so disappointed in himself for lying, but true to his nature, he was impulsive and fearful. He lied out of fear for his own life. Similar to Peter, we give ourselves more credit than we should when it comes to our character and how we predict we will react in tough situations. Conceptually integrity is paramount and everyone believes that they have it, but when your back is against the wall it can seem much harder. Jesus, knowing all, predicted that Peter would deny him but he also knew that once he forgave Peter’s transgressions, Peter would come out of it stronger ;understanding what it really means to love and stand firm for Christ. Of course, Jesus was right! Jesus looked past Peter’s behavior because he knew once he was able to grow through his character flaws, he would be a great asset to the kingdom. Peter also learned an important lesson about relying on his own strength---everything, including how you show up for your friends should be done through the strength of Jesus and for the glorification of God.
By no means am I suggesting that you keep toxic people in your life. Note that Jesus forgave Peter but didn’t forgive Judas. What I am suggesting is that you put a little more effort in discerning whether that friend is a Judas or a Peter. Are you in each other’s lives for a reason? Is the core of your friend wicked or are they experiencing negative emotions and have character flaws that they have to work through? Jesus gives us a great example of how to be a friend. Friendship encompasses grace, forbearance and love.
I encourage all of you to be more like Jesus when interacting with the Peters of your life.
Sending Peace & Love
